Ichimaru Jokes Around
by fanfictionusername
Summary: Gin hounds various bleach characters jokes, bad puns and whatnot. R&R!
1. Ichimaru have some fun with kira

yeah...i simply searched the internet for the corny jokes and puns and no offense to blonde people im not saying they're stupid, hope you like it though :D

**Disclaimer: dont own bleach **(how many times do i have to repeat myself?)

In Which Ichimaru Gin have some fun with blonde jokes

"Yo mornin Kira!" Gin greeted kira with that everlasting creepy smile of his

"i-ichimaru taicho, ohayo" kira greeted back normally

"hey hey do you want to hear some jokes?" gin asked kira while nudging him to walk with him to the 3rd division headquarters.

"eh?" kira had a bad feeling about this...

"i'll take that as a yes!"

so they walked along 10th division passing the office while gin was asking kira:

"why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?"

"uhm... 'cause it was frozen..?"

and this perked up a certain pair of lazy boobs...

"taicho do you know the answer?"

"matsumoto concentrate on your work and stop bugging me!"

and back to gin and kira

"no no no dumb dumb cuz it said concentrate!"

back to matsumoto and hitsugaya

"ah taicho you got the correct answer!"

"matsumoto!"

now back again to gin and kira

"taicho we better hurry and get these papers to soutaicho" (apparently they got the papers from 10th division.)

"ahh c'mon it's fun! now i'll tell you another one"

"eehh?!"

skip to 6th division!

"kira now you're supposed to get it this one's easy!"

"hai taicho...(sweatdrop)"

to byakuya and renji

"isnt that ichimaru taicho and kira?"

"renji, they are currently delivering some papers to soutaicho."

"i see.."

back to gin and kira

"now what do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair black?"

"...brunette?"

to B and R...

"hmmm..."

to G and K

"nah! you call it artificial intelligence!"

"ahh..."

to B and R

"i feel bad for kira"

after the 6th division they're now passing 5th division!

to G and K

"kira you should listen to jokes more often!"

"uh-umm... maybe next time.."

"here's another one, what do you do if a blonde throws a kido grenade at ya?"

to A and M

"aizen taicho, ichimaru taicho seems to be enjoying himself today."

"hmm.. a little laugh wont hurt"

to G and K

"i give up..."

"ya pull the pin and throw it back!"

to A and M

"hahaha that gin..."

"aizen taicho you seem to be enjoying yourself too "

"is that so?"

to G and K

"kira you're just ignorin me!"

"oh not at all!"

now on to passing by the 4th division!

to G and K

"you really better get this one else im gonna demote ya"

"gah?!"

"hahaha just joking, now why was the blonde fired at the M&M company??"

to U and I

"unohana taicho i know the answer!"

"my, well good for you isane"

to G and K

"um..."

"yeah...?"

"it's..."

to U and I

"it's because they caught her throwing away all the W's!!"

"ahaha.."

to G and K

"erm...it's because they caught her throwing away all th W's...?"

" heeey! you got it right! you're smarter than i actually thought you were!"

"(sweatdrop)"

passing by 3rd...and arriving to 2nd division!

to G and K

"ichimaru taicho! please no more"

"what are you sayin! here one more, how does a blonde try to kill a fish?"

"...? (gives a puzzled look)"

to S and O

"oomaeda, stop picking your nose and get to work"

"ok ok...(stops picking nose) eh? is that ichimaru taicho? hmm... soifon taicho do you like fish?"

"shut up!"

to G and K

"sigh she drowns it! but a fish cant drown hahaha blondes are dumb"

"taicho we're almost there"

Finally they pass 2nd division and into the soutaicho's office they went, passed the papers, picked up a few things, and said their goodbyes.

"ah kira you go on ahead i forgot i still have some business left, jaa!"

"hai! (thank goodness)" and then kira shunpoed ahead.

"gin, you really cant give him a break"

"mahh? aizen taicho, shouldnt you be with momo-chan?"

"but really, are you having that much fun with your blonde lieutenant?"

"hehe... yep! i bet he doesnt even now im implying that he's an idiot"

(kira while shunpoing...)"ACHOO!"

END

* * *

And remember, review thanks for reading! (im not saying blondes are dumb)


	2. Just Buzzin Around

Here's chappie 2 thanks to myrahellsing for pointing out the lack of capitals :D review!

Kira rubbed his temples as the day was done, Ichimaru taicho has finished his annoy-the-hell-out-of-Kira version 3 routine and hoped Gin wouldnt do it again tomorrow; to him that is.

-the next day-

"heeey miss honey bee whatcha up to?" Gin asked Soifon adding teeth to his creepy smile

"Ichimaru taicho! please leave my office and go back to your own division!" Soifon snarled and for a split second pitied the 3rd division lieutenant.

"hey hey c'mon Izuru's no fun; and yar waaay smarter than that blonde idiot" Gin said with no hesitation at all.

"GET OUT!" Soifon lost her temper and shoved Gin out of the door. whew.

Gin then mimmicked a hurt voice and said through the door, "oh.. alright then, i'll just..go.." Soifon heard loud footsteps slowly walking away till she heard nothing. ("hmm that was easier than I thought it was") Soifon thought to herself, but she just knew it wasnt over.

"Not!" Gin suddenly popped up from behind the couch, and asked, "What does a bee get at Mcdonalds?"

"UGH will you just leave me alone or I'll call the guards!" Soifon snapped.

"A humburger! har har har har" Gin toppled over the couched and stood up again to see Soifon's irritated face.

Oh she was irritated alright of all the bee jokes she heard she was sure Gin's were the most corny and irritating,  
she gave him a death glare.

"Hey hey hey i got another one...What do bees chew?" Gin asked expertly.

Soifon instead called "GUARDS!"

"..." Soifon stared at the door realizing her precious subordinates had definetly benn knocked out.

"Bees dont chew guards! they chew bumble gum! hohohohohoho!" Gin doubled over and looked at the door expecting guards to take him away. But the guards didnt come and knowing Soifon would call them before he could annoy the hell outta her, he was sensible enough to knock everyone out including the lieutenant in the head with the hilt of shinso.

"hehe oh oh heres another one, what are the cleverest bees?" Gin asked while snooping around the stuff in her office.

Soifon slowly turned to Gin while he was messying up her office and said in an irritatingly manner, "...what?"

"Spellin' bees!!" Gin screeched and her most delicate porcelain black cat displayed on the shelf dropped to the ground, shattering to a million pieces...CLANG!...That did it.

"AGH!! STING YOUR ENEMIES TO DEATH SUZUMEBACHI!" Soifon flashed stepped behind Gin and pricked his firmly pasting a mark.

"YEOWWCH! Now what did ya do THAT for?!" Gin said.

"NOW GET OUT BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!" Soifon commanded and got ready to call 4th squad via hell butterfly.

"Fine then be that way!" Gin stomped halfway to the door, stopped and said, "Wait one more thing, What bee is good for your health?"

"...?" Soifon looked at Gin half curious and half wanting to prick him in the again.

"VITAMIN BEE!!" Gin said while holding up a can of enhanced vitamin B pills he stole from squad 12.

"OUT!!" Soifon threw at Gin an empty bottle of milk (it said 'Magnolia')

Gin dodged the incoming bottle and made a run for it (more of shunpo) as he saw Soifon getting ready to throw another empty bottle of milk that said 'Nestle'.

END

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	3. Hey Shorty

**Disclaimer: dont own bleach**

Here's a third chapter about Hitsugaya but I couldnt find or think of much height jokes or whatever so as I said before, if my humor's depleting (not that i have much humor) tell me and maybe I'll redo this chapter. :) Fanfiction is fuun

1:35pm. Not quite early but good enough for a late lunch.  
Hitsugaya Toshiro finished the last load of paperwork for the month and was on his way to the squad canteen only to be met by a very annoying 3rd division captain.

"Yo Shiro-chan watcha havin for lunch?" Gin asked as he watched Hitsugaya's eye twitch in annoyance.

"Ichimaru. What do you want?" Hitsugaya said after failing to not twitch his eye in annoyance.

"Oh nothing really just came to visit the cutest little captain of the Gotei 13" Gin replied.

"Go away" Hitsugaya said to Gin while carrying a tray with his meal on it.

"Brrr...is it cold in here..." Gin pretended to shiver.

"Tell me about it" Hitsugaya replied with his last drop of patience.

"Ooh Ooh is that small shrimp? Can I have it??" Gin said while bending over Hitsugaya's head.

Hitsugaya threw a piece of shrimp over his head and Gin caught it and ate it.

"Now get away from me" Hitsugaya said as he sat down and started to eat.

"Hmm...Now where did Shiro-chan go?" Gin said looking around and scratching his silvery hair.

"Right under your nose you bastard" Hitsugaya said and took a bite out of his tuna fish.

"Aww dont be a sad sap you'll grow...in time, hey how bout we visit Soifon for some milk?" Gin said with joy.

Hitsugaya finished his meal and put away his tray. Without answerering. What a mistake.

":( ya ignorin me? How boring...Like my dumb blonde lieutenant." Gin said with a pout.

"Why dont you go and irritate someone else if I'm so boring?" Hitsugaya walked fast but Gin kept following.

"After I try one laaast time with ya" Gin brightened up.

It was a good thing the 10th and 3rd divisions were soo far away.

"Hey have I ever told ya how white your head is Shiro-chan?" Gin stood in front of Hitsugaya, and bent over to see his cute widdle fwace.

"Have I ever told you how much of an idiot you are?" Hitsugaya replied.

"Tsk tsk kids shouldnt be so potty-mouthed, bad Shiro-chan" Gin waved his bony finger.

"I AM NOT A KID!" Hitsugaya shouted as he attempted to kick Gin in the shins but missed.

"Whatever shorty!" Gin said as he dodged the kick and shunpoed away, he missed lunch too and was hungry.

END

* * *

Thanks for reading and I hope you review too! Not Perfect is GOod


	4. Dont Mess with the Monkey

**Here's chappie 4! It's a bit long but bear it with me. and I am NOT gonna do that disclaimer thing again.**

Gin walked lazily along 6th division when he heard manical laughter in front of Byakuya's office.

"Hm?" Gin busts in without knocking and sees Renji squatting next to the desk (?) with a laptop he stole from Ichigo.

"Abarai-san, watcha doin down there?" Gin went over to Renji and saw on the screen a list of...'something'.

"Ichimaru-taicho! oh, this is nothing I'm just..well..." Renji stuttered.

"Well?" Gin took a closer look on the screen.

"Well...um...Who're we talkin about?" Renji slammed the laptop closed and put it away.

"Hehehe...What was that...?" Gin asked Renji in a mocking tone.

"..." Renji cursed himself for not going to a more safer place.

"Show me or else I'll tell on Byakushi that you were peeping on Rukia-chan!"

"Alright! You win, here!" Renji said to Gin as he handed him the laptop.

"So it's true?!" Apparently Gin was only guessing about the peeping on Rukia thing.

"Goddamnit!" Renji banged his head on the floor.

"Ooooh... Now what do we have here..?"

20 minutes later

"Here ya go" Gin gave Renji the slightly dented laptop back to Renji.

"OK now make sure NOT to tell Kuchiki-taicho or anyone what happened today and especially about 'that'" Renji felt something bad was coming...

"Sure...Sure...-" But Gin was cut off by Byakuya himself. (Speak of the devil)

"Renji, Ichimaru-taicho, what in world is there that interest you both beside the trashcan?" Byakuya said coldly.

"Oh it's nothing, really Kuchiki-san.. Now if ya'll excuse me I have some work to do." Gin swiftly left the room.

("He has some work to do? As if! only a dimwit wouldnt notice Kira's wails from squad 3 and the bags under his eyes the next morning.") Renji thought bitterly to himself.

"Renji, do not forget; Tomorrow report here at exactly 5:30 am, we have some extra work to do." and with that,  
Byakuya left leaving his lieutenant behind.

And when Byakuya was barely out of earshot Renji told to himself, "I blame Ichigo for leaving his laptop unattended."

-At that exact time Ichigo sneezed twice.-

The next morning Gin was up and about at an amazingly early time (8:45 am, it's better than noon) and sought for Kuchiki Byakuya at the 6th division.

As Gin entered the room piles of papers and books were scattered and Renji was organizing some things over there and Byakuya was at his desk...doing captain stuff.

"Ichimaru-taicho, what brings you here again at my division?" Byakuya asked Gin ignoring the fact that Renji was eavsdropping.

"G'mornin Byakushi!" Gim greeted Byakushi.

Byakuya gave Gin the evil eye.

"Aw c'mon I just wanted ta talk could I see ya outside?" Gin said batting his eyelashes in the kind of way that you actually cant see his eyes.

"As you can see we are busy, another time please." Byakuya said in his deep, hawt voice.

"Pweeeese?" said Gin in a voice that would make puppies pee and glass break.

And since it annoyed Byakuya very much he decided to come along. (No! dont do it Byakuya!) Byakuya stood up and then followed Gin outside again leaving his lieutenant alone to do the mountains of work; by himself.

("I blame this on Ichigo and I swear when I see him it's his neck I'm breaking") Renji thought to himself grudgingly.

Meanwhile outside Gin was leaning his back onto the office door and asking Byakuya a list of unbelievably sick questions:

"Ooh ooh can can I braid your hair?"

"How much bleach does it take to take the stains of off that scarf?"

"Is it true that ya cant go bankai when it's not the spring season?"

"How did ya first feel when you learned that you would kill hollows with flower petals?"

"Do you really often listen to music such as HoukiBoshi and Orange?!"

"I bet'cha I can do your hair waaay better than you can!"

"...How long does it take ta do your hair?" Gin asked Byakuya these stupid questions and his creepy grin turned into crazy laughter that would give Rukia nightmares for a month as he watched Byakuya sizzle and shove him outta his way and when he went in he crashed onto Renji and a whole pile of books. Loud crashes could be heard inside the office from a 5-mile radius and Gin's laughter went higher-pitched when he heard Renji's voice shouting, "ICHIGO I'M GONNA KILL YOU AND BREAK YOUR NECK!"

Ichigo then shuddered and sneezed twice once again at the same time

END

**Please send me your opinions then! Thanks**


	5. Oww

**Sooo...this time Gin doesnt directly annoy people here but I guess it still counts. And I'm sure most of you are smart enough to get what I'm saying down there. If not so sue me.**

That night Gin (after laughing like a maniac) limply walked to 4th division to get pills for his stomach ache.

"Kaa-san! My tummy hurts!" Gin said as he flicked on the lights to 4th division and noticed that it was late night after all no one would be present. He frowned and began searching through the drawers and shelves till he heard some light footsteps coming near.

"Kaa-san!" Gin turned around only to be disappointed by seeing Hanataro carrying a pile of boxes.

"Ichimaru-taicho, what are you doing here so late?" Hanataro asked a bit startled.

"Oh it's just you.. do ya have any stomach pills?" Gin asked and thought that he would just waste his time if he bothered to even annoy the wimp.

"A-ah right!" Hanataro put down the boxes and went to another room. Gin looked around and took a seat, he was getting really bored and that wimp was really taking his time just for some stomach pills. After 10 more minutes he checked on Hanataro but couldnt find him anywhere, so he just ditched it and skipped (he was too tired for shunpo okay?!) to 3rd division, come to think of it he didnt really need those pills.

As he skipped towards his own division he felt his stomach in a much worse state than before.

("Mmnn... This is all that wimp's fault...") Gin thought to himself as his stomach ache intensified.

After a little over halfway to 3rd division Gin was practically dragging his feet along the way.

"...urgh..How long does it take to travel next door..." Gin said to himself despite the pain.

Arriving to the main hall of 3rd division he climbed those long acursed stairs up to his room tripping midway in the process.

"Ohhh..." Gin rubbed his stomach as he landed on his buttocks. Admitting defeat he slept at the bottom of the stairs till morning. (Hey his stomach really hurt)

-That morning-

Kira woke up and remembered Ichimaru-taicho asked him to lead the patrols so he rushed to get dressed and took the long flight of stairs down and when he reached the bottom he stepped of something soft and warm.

-Hic-

"Huh? Kira looked down and saw his own captain sprawled on the floor and his foot on top his taicho's stomach. Uh-oh.

"Ichimaru-taicho! I'm so sorry but why were you lying there all night long?" Kira helped Gin up and they sat down on a nearby bench.

"Oh..Izuru! My stomach ache's gone! Hey thanks a lot!" Gin stood up and went on his way to harrass someone.

"T-taicho?" Kira looked puzzled.

"Oh and dont forget to do the patrols!" Gin then shunpoed away.

"..." Kira was definetly creeped out from the fact that Ichimaru-taicho didnt puposely creep him out.

END

**Thanks for reading! Actually I think this chapter sucks but that's not the point here and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! **

**Have an internet cookie, they're full of chocolate**


	6. Hot Weather Today Isnt It?

**It was so much fun writing this I hope you enjoy it!**

Due to the hot weather in Soul Society this time of the year, Gin was not very happy that a hell butterfly came up to him and announced a captain's meeting to be held in that stuffy room immediately. So he changed directions, bumped into Hinamori without apologizing, and shunpoed to 1st division.

Gin entered the room last and went to his appropriate position (wherever that is) and a thought suddenly struck him.

"Now then since all of you have arrived we shall now commence the captain's meeting!" Soutaicho said after being nudged awake by Kyoraku-taicho.

"The renovation of-" Soutaicho was cut off by none other than Gin.

"Wait a second!" Gin suddenly shouted out of the blue, effectively making Aizen's ear bleed.

"I hafta go potty, so could ya hold that thought for a while." Gin said as he exited the room, and shortly came back after a flushing sound.

"All done! Continue please." Gin waved his hand and heard Juushiro whisper something to Hitsugaya.

"As I was saying..The renovations of-" Soutaicho was yet again cut off.

"Hey everyone! Today it was so hot I saw a chicken lay a fried egg!" Gin stated. Juushiro chuckled, Hitsugaya glared, Byakuya frowned, Aizen stared, and Soutaicho was not pleased.

"Ichimaru-taicho! If you plan on disrupting the meeting and disgracing yourself any further I shall have to ask you to leave." Soutaicho head looked so hot and greasy.

In response gin frowned and said, "Soutaicho-san dont be so uptight!...It's bad enough it's so hot today it makes me wanna take my skin off and stand on my bones!"

"Ichimaru-taicho I think we should save the jokes for later and continue with the meeting." Ukitake-taicho said holding back giggles.

"You actually think he'll stop just like that?" Soifon replied.

"Such insolence.." Byakuya said coldly.

"Yare Yare.." Shunsui squeezed in.

"Hmph, I'm not interested." Mayuri said.

"Can we just get on with it so we can all go home?" Hitsugaya said crossing his arms.

"Hehe..This could get interesting.." Kenpachi said grinning.

"Interesting? such injustice.." Tosen said.

"What do you know about justice?!" Mayuri exclaimed.

"Uhm.." Komamura was speechless.

"Everyone cut it out!" Hitsugaya shouted.

"Fine then if it's a fight you want it's a fight you'll get! RAWR!" Kenpachi snapped and started attacking Hitsugaya

And all hell broke loose in less than 2 minutes...

After a little while Kira went in to check on everyone since it was already sunset and he wanted to go home and rest. As he went closer and closer to the door he heard loud noise coming from the meeting room, panicking he shunpoed towards the room and entered just to gape in horror and faint like a piece of paper on the ground.  
What he saw would make absolutely anyone faint; Anyone at his position that is.

Kenpachi was currently shredding Soifon's haori as she took it off to be able to freely move as she cut Shunsui with Suzumebachi once in the arm. Hitsugaya got hell bent and went bankai on Mayuri and Komamura was biting off Juushiro's hair. In a corner a small portion of Tosen's bankai could be seen and it seemed pretty obvious who was inside with all the pink the darkness was radiating. Soutaicho was busy cooking Gin in an open fire to stop all the commotion, since all this had begun on Gin's little joke.

"Izuru! Quick! Retreat!" Gin was miraculously able to shunpo out of the room unharmed and grabbed Kira just as Unohana-taicho finished tending to him.

The minute they had gone back to 3rd division's headquarters Gin burst out into maniacal laughter for the millionth time that week.

"Ichimaru-taicho what on earth happened in there?!" Kira exclaimed.

"Hohoho...haha...leave it to Ichimaru Gin to start an all-out war with the captains!" Gin said as he laughed some more.

"...What could you have said this time?" Kira was curious indeed.

"It's so hot da squirrels are handlin nuts with potholders!! HAHAHAHA!!" Gin couldnt control himself anymore.

"I think I have a bit of an idea to what happened there..." Kira slapped his forehead.

END

**There! And to the people who liked it free internet choco cookies for you! To people who didnt enjoy it well...I'll still give you cookies! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Why me?

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D PM me or review me if there's any errors, or whatever!**

Since it was too dangerous to venture outside where the mean captains were, Gin decided to spend the day skipping work and lying around doing nothing. Gin lied on his couch, and out of boredom he accidentally slept through most of the day...

Later in the afternoon Kira went to check on Gin again.

"T-Taicho?" Kira took a peek inside.

"Izuru! Perfect timing! Come in come in I'll tell ya all about the dream I just had." Gin pulled Kira in and they sat on the floor.

("Why is it that whenever I check on him something always happens...") Kira looked gloomy so Gin started his story.

"I was at something called the 'cinemas' and it was really big in there and you were with me, then I saw a few of the captains doing the hula dance on stage and suddenly I couldnt see you anymore and then I saw that ryoka gang standing beside a circular table and then I saw Rangiku glomping Shiro-chan and then I really needed to pee and then I went inside a room but didnt have a bathroom so I did it somewhere else and then I realized I just peed on your clothes!"

Gin grinned widely after telling his dream to Kira who was now staring at his taicho.

"Er...Taicho..?" Kira walked over to the couch and saw a wet piece of clothing flattened on it; His clothing.

"Oh and sorry bout that, just couldnt help myself." Gin shrugged and left Kira very miserable.

Gin skipped around the division and went to the kitchen for a small snack. As he was about to grab the last piece of riceball there was suddenly a big explosion on the wall next to him that he had to dodge.

"Ichimaru!! I've finally found you... You'll pay for what you did yesterday!" Hitsugaya shunpoed towards Gin.  
and stepped on the last piece of onigiri Gin has been so looking forward to.

-Squish-

"Eh?" Hitsugaya lowered Hyorinmaru and looked at his foot, "Onigiri?" Hitsugaya looked back at Gin.

"My, my, you shouldnt waste food like that..._Hitsugaya-taicho_.." There was suddenly a weird, dark aura surrounding Gin.

"_Hitsugaya-taicho_...?" Hitsugaya thought that it was the best time to release Hyorinmaru.

"Shoot to death, Shinso." Gin 'stretched' Shinso just a few milimeters away from Hitsugaya's left ear, Gin was reaaally hungry, no scratch that, Gin was starving.

And at that same time, Kira, who heard the noise shunpoed towards the kitchen and rushed towards the two captains.

"Ichimaru-taicho! Hitsugaya-taichooooo!!" Kira pullled on his hair.

"Oh, so sorry bout that Shiro-chan you're just cute I could eat you up!" Gin pinched Hitsugaya's reddened cheeks.

"AGH!!" Hitsugaya slapped Gin's hand off and stormed out. "I'll be better off being annoyed by Matsumoto.."

"Hmm? Izuru dont just stand there make me some more riceballs." Gin gave Kira an apron and wrappeed his head with a cloth. "Get to work now!"

("Taicho...This is too cruel!") Kira thought darkly as he made those riceballs.

END

**That's it for now and I do hope you review... but if you dont wanna...I'll just...Anyway thanks for reading!**


	8. Ikkaku's Bald Head

**Chapter 8 is here and thanks to those who reviewed!**

Luckily for Kira, Gin spent the next day paying a visit to the 11th division! Gin jumped along the roofs, careful not to cross roads with any of the captains yet and headed towards 11th division where Kenpachi was the only man who actually thanked him for the enjoyable fight the other day.

"Ken-chaaaan!" Gin (no not Yachiru XD) cupped his hand to the side of his mouth and spotted Kenpachi's distinct spiky, gravity-defying hair with bells.

"Yo Ichimaru, if you came here for another brawl I'm all over it." Kenpachi said as Yachiru hung on his shoulder.

"Hi squinty-eyes!" Yachiru waved to Gin.

Gin waved back. "Nah I'm just looking for a couple of your high-seated officers ta play with."

"If it's Ikkaku and Yumichika you want they're at the back. So long." Kenpachi left.

"Perrrrrrrfect..." Gin said evilly what Aizen taught him recently.

Gin made his way to the back and saw Ikkaku and Yumichika.

"Hey Baldy! Yumi-chan!" Gin sat next to Yumichika.

"Hm." Yumichika nodded and gave him an annoyed look.

"Who are you calling baldy?!" Ikkaku whipped his head around to Gin.

"I'm calling you a baldy." Gin simply answered the question.

"..." Ikkaku looked very annoyed, yes, very annoyed indeed.

"Ichimaru-taicho, what business do you have in the 11th division?" Yumichika asked.

Gin whispered something to Yumichika. "It is said that as we grow older, hair grows inward. If it finds wisdom,  
it turns gray. If it finds nothing, it falls out..."

"HAHAHA!!" Yumichika laughed loud enough to make Gin's ears bleed but didnt.

"Oi Yumichika..." Ikkaku glared at the both of them.

Gin whispered some more to Yumichika. "Does someone keep putting nair (I think nair is something that makes you a baldy..) in Ikkaku's shampoo bottle?"

"AHAHAHAHA!!" Yumi-chan laughed some more.

"What the hell's so funny?!" Ikkaku demanded.

Gin grinned, and whispered some more things to Yumichika. "He did his hair all night, but seems to have forgotten to bring it."

"AHAHAHA!!" Yumichika was teary eyed.

"Whatever! Yumichika you better tell me what's going on later!" Ikkaku stood and went around a corner.

"Tell 'im." Gin nudged Yumichika.

Yumichika sighed and rolled his eyes, went to where Ikkaku was, and told him everything.

"HE SAID WHAT?!" As if on cue Yumichika plugged his ears and Gin left 11th division snickering.

END

**Thanks for reading! Review me if there's anything wrong with the chapter. Want a cookie?**


	9. September 10

****

Maybe Gin's a little OOC here, but I doubt it.

The date today is September 10. It has already been a week since the havoc in the captain's meeting incident and it was soon forgotten.

"Matsumoto. What're you doing over there? Get back to work." Hitsugaya said as he did the paperwork.

"Ah, Taicho just a second." Matsumoto was flipping through a few pages of a magazine.

"Get back to work so you can concentrate on whatever that is later." Hitsugaya waved his brush around.

"mm..but I'm tired already.." Matsumoto pouted and returned to work; Stamping seals on the finished paperwork.

* * *

Gin went to the 2nd division as soon as he signed the reports and greeted the new recruits of the 3rd division.

"Hey Miss Bee watcha up to today?" Gin caught up to Soifon in one of the halls.

"Oh it's you again." Soifon said without glancing at him.

"Do you know what date is today?" Gin asked expectantly.

"September 10." Soifon said still not glancing at him.

Gin frowned shunpoed to 4th division.

* * *

"Kaa-san!" Gin rushed to Unohana-taicho.

"Can I help you with anything, Ichimaru-taicho?" Unohana smiled motherly.

"Do ya know what date is today?" Gin smiled like the little b!tch he is.

"Oh that reminds me I have to deliver some pills to Ukitake-taicho, please ask Isane whatever you may need." And she left before Gin could sulk away.

* * *

"Aizen-tai-" Gin was cut off.

"Ichimaru-taicho! I'm sorry but Aizen-taicho is away right now, could I leave a message?" Hinamori said.

"Oh. It's just you..never mind." Gin shunpoed away.

"Hmm?" Hinamori cocked her head.

* * *

Gin arrived in the front gate of the 6th division and knocked obnoxiously on the gate.

"BYAKUSHI!! DO YA KNOW WHAT DATE IS TODAY?!" Gin screeched through the gate.

"..." Nobody anwsered.

"Hmph!" Gin went on to the 7th division.

* * *

"Ichimura-taicho's here?" Komamura looked through the window. "Oh, let him in."

"G'day to you Komamura-taicho!" gin slumped on the chair next to the desk.

"Hello, is there something you need?" Komamura asked Gin.

"Do'ya know what date is today?" Gin asked him immediately.

"Hmm..sorry but I dont really count dates much, why dont you ask-"

Gin immediately left.

"Hmm.. Something I said?" Komamura shrugged.

* * *

Gin didnt bother asking the golden question to Shunsui since he's already drunk and asleep.

* * *

Gin also did NOT want to ask that blind man who was obsessed with justice.

* * *

"Shiro-chan? Rangiku-san?" Gin looked around 10th division and made his way towards the office.

"Shiro-chaaaan?! Rangiku-saaaaaan?!" Gin took a peek but both werent present so Gin knocked over a few files from Hitsugaya's desk and walked to his own division, sulking on the way. The day hasnt been going so well for him and he didnt want to be disappointed any longer.

* * *

"I hope Izuru at least saved me some dinner..." Gin said to himself gloomily as he arrived later that night. Gin flipped on the lights and almost had a heart attack.

-popping sounds-

"Happy Birthday Gin!" Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, Kira, and Aizen were now sitting around a circular table. Not much of a group but it's the thought that counts.

Matsumoto stood up and pulled Gin (who is still shocked) in.

"Gin! We were waiting for you! Where were you all day?"

"Taicho you didnt wonder when I wasnt around the whole day?"

"Congratulations Gin."

"Yeah whatever Aizen-taicho and I are actually here, so be grateful."

"Erm..I dunno what to say..." Gin scratched his head.

"How about a thank you!"

"...Thanks...? A lot...Yeah that's it...Thanks a lot." Gin said and it felt a very awkward and disturbing.

"NOW LET'S DRINK!" Matsumoto shouted.

For a little while there Gin felt a ticklish fuzzy feeling inside but it was only for a moment, just a moment.

END

**Thanks for reading!**


	10. Kaboom

**I just suddenly had this idea concerning explosives.**

"Izuru! Come here for a second!" Gin called Kira and handed him a hammer and some nails.

"Um..What are these for Taicho?" Kira stared at the tools Gin gave him.

"It's for repairing duh." Gin lead Kira to a broken table.

"I think it's better if you just called in the workers." Kira said.

"Oh dont be silly you can do it! Now, get hammerin!" Gin said and went for a walk.

--

Gin felt like he wanted to see a few explosions and disections, so he shunpoed to 12th division!

"Kurotsuchi-taicho!" Gin hollered from the door and made his way to the lab.

"Hey freak-show!!" Gin looked around the lab but couldnt find him so he asked Nemu.

"Hello Nemu-chan do ya know where Mayuri-chan went?" Gin asked.

"Mayuri-sama is currently in the top floor and..." Gin shunpoed to the top floor. "...is doing a very dangerous and delicate experiment right now." Nemu stared at the stairs.

"Mayuri-sama?!" Gin shouted in front of a very big delicate looking test tube.

"Ichimaru-taicho. What are you doing here? Get out, cant you see I'm busy?! And dont raise your voice too much!"  
Mayuri snapped back, he was mixing a few chemicals.

"I'm just here for a visit." Gin grabbed two chemicals in the color of orange and silver.

"Tour all you want downstairs just get out." Mayuri said not looking back and completely engrossed in his work.

Gin ignored Mayuri and mixed the orange liquid and the silver liquid into a cup.

"Oooh ooh Mayuri-chan look what I did!" Gn raised the cup in front of Mayuri.

Mayuri saw the blackened liquid.

And freaked.

"YOU IMBECILE LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU JUST MIXED TOGETHER A VERY DANGEROUS EXPLOSIVE!"

"I did? Cool!" Gin gave the cup to Mayuri.

-KABOOM-

"Oww!" Kira hit his head underneath the table. "Hm? what was that?" Kira wondered and rubbed his head.

Meanwhile in the 12th division...

"That was so awesome!!" Gin emerged from the rubble with his hair in the style of Kenpachi's.

Gin spotted Mayuri coughing around the smoke and dust.

"Let's do it again!" Gin waved his arms around.

"YOU FOOL! HALF-WIT! IDIOT!" Mayuri shook Gin's collar around.

"Dont ya people do explosions often?" Gin said.

"AGH!!" Mayuri screeched.

Gin sighed. "That Urahara guy still makes a better captain than you do." Gin shunpoed to 3rd division to tell Kira the great news.

END

**Thanks for reading and I would like to know your opinions in this! Toodles**


	11. Fun with Brail

**I know this is short but I hope it's okay, I'll update again later...School keeps being delayed. That's why I have so much free time. **

In the 9th division's office Shuuhei knocked and went inside.

"Taicho, there's a lot of mail for you, and they're in brail." Shuuhei handed the letters to Tosen and took over the paperwork.

"Hm..Thank you." Tosen sat down and began to read. The first letter said, "How's a going Tosen? Have you bumped into any trees lately?" Tosen read the next mail. "I just recently completed a sculpure of ya, too bad ya cant see it" Than the next letter said, "How do your hair? Does Hisagi-kun do it for ya?" Tosen then read the last letter, "Have I ever told you how pretty you are?"

"..." Tosen gathered the letters together.

"Shuuhei, please burn these letters, I have no use for them." Tosen handed the letters to Shuuhei and left.

"Wonder what's written...curse the day I skipped brail classes." Shuuhei shunpoed outside and began burning.

--

Kira knocked on the door of Gin's room.

"Ichimaru-taicho! How long do I have to send these letters to the 9th division?" Kira said through the door.

"Aww c'mon dont complain and just do it!" Replied Gin as he shoved more letters under the door.

"Hehehe...Praise the day I took the time to study brail." Gin said as he continued composing the letters.

END

**Thanks for reading! I'd like to know all your opinions so far . Also thanks to those who reviewed before!**


	12. Life Without Taicho

**:D Told ya I would update. Though it's still kind of short, I'll do my best with the next one! **

Kira walked through the halls of 3rd division wondering where his taicho has gone to.

"Well, as long as he isnt doing anything stupid I guess it'll be alright..." Kira shunpoed away to do some work.

Kira has been doing a bit of paperwork and wondered why his captain hasnt been there by his side to disturb him.

At lunchtime Kira saw all the pudding gone but not even his taicho was there to hog all of it.

In the afternoon, while Kira was training with some of the new recruits, his taicho was not there to lecture them all about something stupid and random.

While the sun was setting Kira looked out the window and his taicho was not there to tell him how the sun was complimenting his hair.

At dinnertime his taicho was not there to drink all his soup.

By nighttime his taicho was not there to nag him about sleep and work...he was not there to greet him "Nighty night Izuru."

Early in the morning his taicho wasnt there to ring the bell obnoxiously and wake the whole division up.

As Kira went to the office for a little work before breakfast, his taicho was not there to tell him all about the dream he had last night.

Life was pretty dull without his taicho. And Kira was getting freaked out.

"Where the heck did Ichimaru-taicho go?" Kira barged in Gin's room and saw said captain lying on the floor in front of the TV with big eyebags.

"Oh Izuru! There you are! I was watching TV yesterday morning then an Ugly Betty marathon started to show and-"

Kira shut the door and walked away. He was beginning to think of life without his taicho as a vacation.

END

**Thanks for reading! And I'll be sure the next chapter will be long. Review!**


	13. Losing It

**Hope ya like this chapter then! X3 **

"Ichimaru."

"Yeah?"

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here." Hitsugaya found a certain fox-faced captain on his chair, feet up the desk, and paperwork used as a butt pillow.

"Ya see, my office had to be cleaned and where else should I lie around doin nothin? Here in my favorite chibi taicho's office of course!" If looks could kill, Gin would be dead by now.

Hitsugaya had a vein throb in his head.

"OUT! NOW! AND BRING THE PAPERWORK WITH YOU I DONT LIKE MY WORK SMELLING LIKE YOUR DIRTY ASS!" Hitsugaya shoved Gin out and threw the papers out. Then locked the door. Tight.

--

"Now he didnt have ta be so mean." Gin scratched the back of his head and saw Matsumoto walking by.

"Rangiku-san! How come your taicho's extra mean today?" Gin asked Matsumoto as she was looking at a few files.

"Oh? He is?" She paused for a while. "Well I'll be damned. Now I've got to avoid going into that office as much as possible or else I'll be forced to do my share of paperwork! Thanks!" Matsumoto patted his shoulder and went along.

"But...ah-hah..." Gin thought up of something good.

--

Hitsugaya sipped his tea quietly as he finished a page of paperwork.

("Damn Ichimaru. It makes me want to pity Kira.") Hitsugaya dimly thought to himself and reached for his cup. Wait,  
where was his cup? It was just there a while ago!

Hitsugaya groaned as he looked around and sought for the godforsaken cup. He found it by the windowsill.

("How the heck did that get there?! Well it doesnt matter.") He stood up and took his cup of tea, carefully setting it down on his desk.

After a few minutes the cup was gone. ("What the...") He smelled something on the floor. ("How did that get there?!")

Hitsugaya looked puzzled and finished the drink and put it away.

("I must be losing it...Where the hell is Matsumoto anyway? Surely she doesnt expect me to finish all this work! Oh wait she does, damnit.")

Hitsugaya inked his brush and wrote on his desk. And wrote on his desk. His desk?

"What the hell?" Hitsugaya was confused. ("Where did the paper go?") He searched under his desk and everywhere but couldnt find it. As he turned back towards his desk the paper was back there, all neat without a single crumple.

"Huh?!" Hitsugaya looked around. ("I think I better go see 4th squad.") Hitsugaya thought in bewilderment. He was definetly losing it.

--

Gin giggled silently by himself.

"My my Hitsugaya-kun, just because you're short doesnt mean ya wont look above ya." Gin said to himself as he dropped down from the ceiling of Hitsugaya's office.

END

**Thanks for reading! Hope you review!**


	14. Chocolate bunnies

**I cant believe I reached till chapter 14 with this story! Anyways, I thought I'd give 4th division a bit more spotlight sooo there.**

"For the last time Ichimaru-taicho, we're really fresh out of them!" Isane reasoned with Gin.

"Now, I didnt get a papercut for nothing, I want some now!" Gin protested.

"I'm sorry but you've been coming here again and again with papercuts but we are simply out of them!" Isane said as she was writing something on a paper.

"You fourth division people better give some to me or I'll bleed to death!" Gin said while holding his index finger up.

"I assure you, you wont bleed to death from a small papercut!" Isane replied.

"I'm dyin'!" Ichimaru shouted for some reason and did exaggerated actions. If he wasnt so creepy people would have applauded him by now.

"Ichimaru-taicho..!" Isane pouted.

Gin mimmicked a dead fox.

"Please stop being so childish I'm sure someone will bring those soon!" Isane struggled to pick up Gin and tossed him on the couch.

-a little while later-

Gin fell asleep on the couch and was mumbling random things.

"Mah..Aizen..you're so.." Gin drooled a little.

"I swear.." Isane was getting freaked out a bit.

Gin suddenly woke up.

"Kaa-san!"

Unohana entered the room with a medium sized box on her hands.

"Unohana-taicho." Isane bowed a bit.

Said captain nodded in reply. "Ichimaru-taicho, I suspect you would like some chocolate? She opened the box.

"Ooh ooh I want the bunny-shaped one!" After Gin got what he wanted he shunpoed away. Probably to Kira.

"A fox till the end." Unohana smiled.

Isane sweat-dropped.

END

**Thanks for reading! Now, be nice to the author and type out your thoughts on a review! **


	15. Walking Around Seireitei

**Hm.. Personally I dont see anything humorous here, but I'll put it here anyway!**

Gin thought silently to himself as he walked around Seireitei.

("Hmm..I dont like Yama-jii...") He turned a corner.

("Soi's a snob...") He jumped to a nearby roof.

("Kaa-san's away...") He leapt roof by roof.

("Aizen's busy faking his death...") Gin pondered as he jumped off a roof.

("Byakushi's missing...") He stepped on a cat's tail.

("I hate Komamura..") He bought some taiyaki._ (a/n is there even taiyaki in soul society?!)_

("Kyoraku? Nah..Stupid drunk, no wait I take that back. Stupid womanizer.") He took a bite. _(a/n cuz Matsumoto's always drunk..)_

("No way am I going for that justice-obsessed blind.") He fed a cat.

("I'll give lil' Hitsugaya a rest for now...") He shunpoed straight ahead.

("11th division? Ikkaku's bald head will give me a sunburn..") He slowed his pace.

("12th is still under construction..") Gin sat down a nearby bench.

("13th division is so far away...I'll just have to settle for captain tubercolosis") Gin lied down and drifted off to sleep.

--

"Ichimaru-taicho?" Matsumoto found Gin later that evening still fast asleep on the bench.

"Hey you better wake up or else Kira will be sad and get drunk all over me again." Matsumoto shook Gin.

Gin groaned.

"C'mon, dont be a baby." Matsmumoto pulled on his arm.

"Rangiku-san do ya think I'm handsome?" Gin asked still not standing up.

She sighed. "Yes, I think you're very handsome and the whole world loves you. Now get up!" Matsumoto finally got Gin to stand up and pushed him back to 3rd division.

END

**Thanks for reading, and I'd appreciate your opinions!**


	16. Origami Fox

**Yeah...I know this idea is a bit overused lately but nonetheless, I still wanted to try it out. With less suggestive themes of course, ehem. Oh and I probably wont update as often as I am right now. Wanna know why? Well ya hafta read my other in-progress stories to know. XDD Just kidding. Hope you enjoy this chappie then!**

Kira wandered into the dark halls of 3rd division. He has been doing paperwork all day long and he needed a few of Gin's signatures for he cannot forge every single one. He instinctively went to 5th division when he couldnt find Gin in his room or around the division.

As he arrived in front of 5th division's office he heard voices.

"No no no Aizen-taicho if you're gonna do it you should do it right!" It sounded like Gin.

"This is so complicated Gin." It sounded like Aizen.

Kira leaned in closer.

"Hey! Now you've ruined my best one!" Gin said as Kira heard something rip.

"My apologies, Gin." Kira almost felt Aizen smiling at him.

"Now do ya want to do this or not?" Kira heard Gin walk up somewhere and heard the couch rustle.

("T-taicho?!") Kira thought and pasted himself onto the door.

Then the doors gave in and he crashed inside.

"ACK!" Kira said as he landed face flat on the door.

"Huh? If it isnt Izuru! If you wanted to join ya shouldnt have busted Aizen-taicho's door down.

Aizen chuckled. **(a/n: Damn you Aizen! You made Hitsugaya bleed!)**

Kira looked up and burst into tears.

Gin was currently lying on the couch and Aizen was sitting on the coffee table holding up a piece of paper, folded into...is that a deformed fox?!

"Wha-wha what?!" Kira sputtered.

"Kira-kun, would you like to join us? Gin was just teaching me how to fold origami. Aizen held up a torn piece of paper.

END

**Thank you so so much for reading, and I'd love to get reviews and such, even if it says "I HATE YOUR GUTS!" I'll still continue writing and get a warm fuzzy feeling inside. :D Bye then! Oh I forgot the cookies... I'll save it for the reviewers then! (If I do get reviews ;3)**


	17. Caught Redhanded

**Hi there person who is currently reading this, I really do hope you like this and if you do, yay! **

Gin sneaked silently around 9th division as he carried with him a bag. (the kinds robbers use in TV) He glanced around to check if anyone had noticed him yet, and continued his sneaking. It was so quiet you could hear a fly dropping dead. Gin made his way to the squad barracks and went straight to Tosen's room...Okay so he stole a few cookies _then_ he went to Tosen's room.

"Hee hee hee..." Gin prepared his unbelievable things. It was obviously completely impossible shunpoing and sneaking around carrying a big rock, a thick dictionary a pail of water, and some piano string (whatever that is). But we're talking about Gin here, and he aint captain for nothin!

As Gin finished preparing outside, he planned to leave by the room's window. As he stepped inside,  
A big hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Gin, please dont tell me what I think you're going to do to that poor blind man." Aizen said with his fake smile. **(a/n: damn you Aizen you made Gin attack Rukia whom Byakuya saved which made Byakuya bleed!!)**

"Ehehe, looks like I got caught redhanded tonight eh?" Gin shrugged and began dismantling his "little prank" while being watched carefully by his superior.

END

**Thank you for reading! Review if you want to contribute to my well-being. Nah my ego's not that fat.; And maybe the cookie business is getting old... who cares! Cookie to those who read this, Rainbow cookie to those who reviewed! **


	18. Wrong Victim But Still Funny

**Sup. Next time I'm updating is probably gonna be on friday or saturday. Gotta do some stuff you know? And I also have to update my other stories. :D Hope this chapter wont suck too much. Cookie for the kind reader?**

When midnight stroke, Gin quickly got his sack of goodies and ventured once again into 9th division. He most definetly did not bother sneaking in, instead, he went to the main gate, and entered the division. As Gin noisily stopmed through the halls towards Tosen's room, he stopped for minute to glance around for any sign of Aizen or whoever would be crazy enough to go roaming around at midnight.

Gin sighed. "It's gonna be a real pain setting this stuff again. No matter, it's still gonna be fun." Gin opened the door midway and was miraculously able to balance the pail of water on the door. He then slipped in and tied a dictionary **(in brail)** above Tosen's head **(he's sleeping)**. After that he took the rock **(yes the rock)** and placed it in the middle of the room facing the door. He did all these in 1 single minute. **(Aizen's not just taking anyone with him to Las Noches!)**

Gin hid through a pillar as he heard someone go in the room from the bathroom he did not notice.

"Oh darnit.." Gin whispered to himself as he realized his mistake.

KACHING-KALANG-SWOOP! **(yes those're sounds)**

("Oh yeah!") Gin thought as he kept silently laughing and giggling to himself.

As Gin went and took a peek he saw Hisagi wet, bruised, and...("What the...Hisagi?!") Gin's mouth dropped wide open and as he regained composure he quickly took a snapshot of said lieutenant. Covered in neon green paint. **(Well looks like Gin deceived us.)**

END

**Thank chu for reading and thank chu to everyone who reviewed before, sorry but I'm just too tired to list everyone down. Please review me if you have any ideas, comments, or suggestions. :)**


	19. Quarreling with a Strawberry

**A chapter in which Gin pesters Ichigo (here's to Xx.Fma-Dnangel.xX)****. I'm sorry if I missed a day in updating, I had to search all over the net for the classification of technology crap. First week was so stressing. Luckily for me I can write fanfiction! Thank you for those reviews too!**

"What? That sub shinigami boy's here?" Gin perked up from the couch as Kira said the news.

"Yes.. It seems he's visiting 13th division's Kuchiki Rukia." Kira reported to Gin.

"Ah.." And Gin was gone in a flash.

Kira took some medication pills.

--

Ichigo was relaxing on a cherry tree as he felt a weird reiatsu nearing him.

"Yo sub shinigami!" Gin waved to him.

"Yo.." Ichigo raised a brow.

"Hey I was wonderin... Do you like strawberries?"

"Er..." Ichigo most definitely did not like the sound of this.

"Shouldnt your hair be colored red?" Gin took a closer look on Ichigo's beautiful orange head.

"Stop that!" Ichigo ducked from Gin's view.

"So...Is she an A?" Gin squatted in front of Ichigo effectively blocking the view of 13th division from him.

"Excuse me?!" Ichigo gave a confused glare.

"The other one's way too big..Maybe an...E?" Gin rubbed his chin.

"Whatever." Ichigo attempted to leave but was restrained by Gin.

"Hold on a minute, I'm not done with ya." Gin forced Ichigo to litsen to his ramblings some more.

--

"Taicho!" Kira searched for his captain. It was already dinnertime and Gin didnt show up yet, usually he would come early.

"Taicho!" Kira shunpoed around and spotted a silvery blur in one of the sakura trees.

"Ichimaru-taicho! What are doing?!" Kira went to Gin who was a bit injured and sweaty.

"Oh Izuru! I was just quarreling with a strawberry!"

Kira's eye twitched. It seems someone has forgotten to take his medication this evening.

END

**Thanks for reading till chapter 19, cookies for everyone! You'll review? Why thank you...XDD**


	20. Her Glasses

**Thanks wisdom-jewel for suggesting Nanao! I couldnt have thought of something so simple! (p.s. did I get your name right?) C'mon, get reading!  
**

Gin was bored. Isnt he always? Which is why he decided to pay a little visit to our one and only Ise Nanao.

"hm hm hm.." Gin hummed a certain tune as he made his way to 8th division.

--

"Kyoraku-taicho" Nanao said sternly. "Stop chewing on that piece of grass and get to work." She pushed her glasses up.

"Nanao-chan, dont be so uptight." Shunsui replied.

"Dont call me that!" Nanao stood up and took the piece of grass said captain was chewing on.

"Hello?! Anybody home?" Gin's obnoxious voice could be heard 4 divisions away.

"Ichimaru-taicho?" Nanao looked in the hallway and there was Gin, carrying what seemed to be, a small pouch. How Nanao was able to see it, I do not know.

"Ise-fukutaicho! How are ya today?" Gin skipped towards the office where the 2 people were peacefully arguing a few seconds ago.

"I'm fine thank you, more importantly why are you here? I dont remember anything to be reported." Nanao replied.

"Oh dont be so uptight! Just a little visit." Gin smiled and turned to Shunsui.

"See Nanao-chan? You're obviously too-" Shunsui was cut off by a giant, flying book knocking him out.

Gin shrugged and opened his mystery pouch...And took out what seemed to be, and is, a pair of glasses identical to Nanao's.

"That's..." Nanao stared at Gin as he put on the glasses that seem to magnify his closed eyes a hundred times more.

"Kyoraku-taicho stop chewing on that piece of grass and get to work!" Gin mimmicked her voice quite well.

Nanao's vein on her head began to throb.

"Ichimaru-taicho! If you just continue to make a-"

Nanao stopped as she saw Gin ignoring to her and began inspecting the paperwork whilst making a mess.

Said lieutenant gritted her teeth.

"Ichimaru-taicho."

Gin glanced at her and his glasses seem to slip of his nose as he saw Nanao taking of hers and glaring daggers at him.

"Uh..er..yeah..I think Izuru's calling me, buh-bye!" And Gin left in a flash.

--

"ACHOO!"

"Caught a cold?" Renji asked.

"Not really... Maybe it's just the wind." Kira replied.

END

**Yeah, sorry if there's any wrong spelling/grammar or whatever. Your reviews are what's keeps me updating this story! Now, want a cookie? It's not just any cookie...Each cookie pack comes with an exclusive Byakuya/Hitsugaya/Ichimaru picture! So get typing that review and I might just send in a picture! (but how the hell can you do that?!)**


	21. Chappy Obsession

**I'm late in updating?! Gasp! Stupid internet...-mumbles on and on about how the internet was cut of due to a storm- Anyway the good news is, I have the day off! Oh joy. Thanks a bunch for the people who reviewed. **

"See ya later then Rukia." Renji said as he waved to Rukia.

"Yeah, you too." Rukia and Renji ate together at lunch today, for old times sake.

Rukia walked down the hallway leading to 13th squad and stopped her tracks as she felt a familiar reiatsu coming near.

"Kuchiki-san." Gin said mysteriously.

Rukia gulped and turned to face Gin.

"Is there something wrong?" Rukia asked.

"Oh nothing at all..." Gin just knew Rukia was terrified of him.

"Excuse me then." Rukia turned to leave but a cold hand stopped her.

"Just a moment, I still hafta tell ya something." Gin whispered a few things to Rukia.

"Ichimaru-taicho."

"Hm?" Gin turned and saw Byakuya half-glaring at him.

"Nii-sama..." Rukia looked surprised.

"Rukia, it's late. Didnt you have morning drills?" Byakuya asked.

"Oh, right. Please excuse me then." Rukia said and left in bewilderment as she most certainly did not have any morning drills.

"Aww..Byakushi you're so shy." Gin waved his bony hand up and down.

Byakuya looked pissed alright.

"Tsk..Just because you dont want her to know you drew chappies at her age too." Gin snickered a bit and left Byakuya gritting his teeth.

END

**Next chapter is about Yachiru next! Thanks for reading! --; gosh, I say that every chapter... If you would, -points to 'submit review'. Cookie?  
**


	22. Candy Tricks

**Chappie 22! Whew, I cant believe this reached 22! Anyways, after Yachiru and a few more people, It'll be the Espada's turn! -insert evil laugh- Hope you like this then!**

Gin paced around his office. He couldnt find Kira everywhere.

"Now where the heck did that stupid blonde go this time?" Gin said as he sat on his chair, behind his table.

"Hm?" Gin noticed a note jammed between books and paperworks. The last time he cleaned it was a few decades ago.

Gin read the paper that said: "I'm sorry taicho, but I had to go to the real world for some errands. I'll be back by tonight. Signed, Kira Izuru."

"..." Gin crumpled the paper up and flushed it down the toilet. **(a/n: They do have toilets in SS, right...?)**

--

Aside from hanging on Kenpachi's shoulder half the day, Yachiru went exploring around Seireitei and just so happened to visit the 3rd division.

"Hi there squinty-eyes!" Yachiru waved.

"Yo!" Gin raised a hand and squatted in front of Yachiru.

"Watcha doing?" Yachiru asked.

"Hey hey want some candy?" Gin by chance was able to snatch some from Ukitake's desk earlier today.

"Gimme!" Yachiru eagerly said.

"Well then ya hafta guess which hand has the candy!" Gin held out his balled up fists and his creepy smile seems to grow wider and wider.

Yachiru pointed to the left, no candy.

Yachiru pointed to the right, still no candy.

"There's no candy!" Yachiru protested.

Gin just shrugged and showed his left palm again.

"Candy!" Yachiru nibbled on it.

"I want some more!" Yachiru tugged on Gin's shikahusho.** (a/n: Did I spell that right?)**

Gin shrugged and did a few tricks on Yachiru.

--

"Oi! Yachiru!" Ikkaku shouted.

"Oi!" Ikkaku hollered, there was this new stupid rule saying that the 11th division has a curfew of 8:00 every night. So what if they set 3 buildings on fire before?

Then he heard Yachiru's giggles not far away.

--

"Oooh...Gimme!" Yachiru grabbed a handful of lolllies from Gin's hand. He had been effectively making Yachiru jumpy and sugar-high with magic tricks accompanied with the sugary goodness known as candy.

Then Gin spied Ikkaku's shiny bald head coming up to them, for a second there he thought the moon was crashing on them.

"Oh hey baldy!" Gin stood up from where he was and waved to Ikkaku.

"Yachiru! Come on, did you forget we have a curfew?!" Ikkaku yelled.

"Hi baldy! Listen! Listen! Squinty-eyes here gave me some candy then he made it disappear then he made it appear on my hand and then I ate some marshmallows and then he made the flowers turn into lollies and then I ate them and..." Yachiru didnt seem to be stopping any time soon.

Gin silently snickered and shunpoed away to greet Kira.

Yachiru seemed restless.

"Well, so much for sleep." Ikkaku said as he carried a still chatting Yachiru back to 11th division.

END

**:D Okay, Thank you for reading! And review? Anyway, last night I just watched The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. It was so touching...-sniff- I still feel kinda sad because Chiaki left Makoto... Omg that was the best anime movie I have ever watched! Next to Bleach of course, ehem... Too bad there isnt a sequel of it. -Sigh-, I wanna watch it again... Wait... I WILL watch it again! **


	23. Exploding Underwear?

**:3 Here's to Kage Inu8** **(did I spell that right?) for the suggestion of Kuukaku and Ganju! Hope you like this chapter, yada yada yada now read it please!**

"Huff...Whew...Finally...Here.." Gin said weakly as he balanced on a random stick he picked up somewhere. Despite travelling all the way from 3rd division's quarters to the Shiba residence, he was still able to knock obnoxiously on the big gate. And no, he wanted to walk this time, nope not shunpo. Okay so he did used shunpo halfway there but he got tired of it and decided to walk. Hence the stick.

"Heey!! There's a poor old man dying here!!" Gin shouted through the gate.

The doors opened and two identical and muscular men soon came out which Gin knocked unconscious.

"You two just take a little nap while I annoy the Shiba people!" Gin trotted along the stairs.

--

"Hellooo?! Anybody hooome?!" Gin echoed his voice through the hallways and ended up being smacked to the ground by none other than, Shiba Kuukaku.

"Who the hell do you think you are barging into my house uninvited huh?! Shinigami scum?!" It's almost as if Gin can feel the glares accompanied with insults stab his back.

Gin just stood up and rubbed his nose.

"Oww..."

"Well?!" Kuukaku was ready to make his nose bleed some more.

"Just a little visit, 'is all." Gin recovered fast.

"And just what business does the likes of you have after knocking my servants down?!"

But Gin was gone in a flash, probably to the storage room.

"Bonnie-chan! For the last time! The floors are not the toilet!" Ganju was just having a hard time potty-training Bonnie-chan here. Until...

-KABOOM! POOF! POW! KABALM!- (fireworks sound XD)

"What the hell?!" Ganju looked up the hole that took the majority of the roof.

He saw various fireworks going off and off with the occasional underwear.

"GANJU!! WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET THAT SHINIGAMI SCUM INTO THE STORAGE ROOM?! " Kuukaku yelled.

Said idiot just gulped.

"Hee hee... Exploding fireworks are fun..." Gin said to no one in particular as he watched the elder from the two beat the shit outta the ugly one.

Too bad Gin giggled too loud and revealed his hiding place.

"HEY YOU!!"

Said troublemaker just gulped.

END

**END. For now. My day off is over...T.T Review if you want to contribute to my well-being! (I just _know _I've said that before...Oh well, what's done is done)**


	24. Practice Makes Perfect

**Kitty-taicho-sama, I hope these Yo mama jokes are good enough. .; Anyways, please dont take any of these seriously, if I get a flame I would probably cry. No I wouldnt but I'd be disappointed. :( Hope you like it then! **

It was early in the morning, very unlikely for Gin to be waking up at 5:32am. He walked to the mirror and sat on a chair. It was a very good thing Kira wasnt here cuz he's still doing yesterday's overdue paperwork.

"Hmm..." Gin took out a list and started practicing yo mama jokes. Where he got the list, I have no idea.

"Yo mama so bald you can see through her skull!"

"Yo mama is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!"

"Yo mama so fat they threw her a welcome back party when she turned around!"

"Yo mama so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck!"

"Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest they said, 'Sorry, no professionals.'"

"Yo mama so stupid she went to a shootout and got stabbed!"

"Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning."

Gin looked at his list one more time and threw it away.

"Well, ya always gotta practice those foreign jokes."

Gin stood up and made his way towards the door.

"Renji, Renji, Renji..." Gin added with a smirk and shunpoed to the direction of 6th division.

END

**Send me a review with requests and I'm all over it! Thanks for reading!**


	25. Muffin Thingy

**Sorry if it's a bit short... :D I received a lot of reviews. Thanks a lot.**

Yesterday didnt go too well. How would Gin know Renji was a master in yo mama fights!

Gin sighed and unconsciously made his way to the division's ktichen.

"Huh?" Gin walked up to a counter and suddenly had this crazy idea of baking muffins.

Gin grinned and gathered up a bowl, random ingredients, and a single spatula (o.O).

--

After a while one could easily make out what the contents in the bowl was Gin threw in.

"Let's see... Flower, garlic, ginger, sock, onion, sugar, spice, and everything nice... With a little bit of low fat cookie crumbs... Yeah, I think my muffins are ready to bake!" Gin skipped to the big oven Hitsugaya could easily fit in, and turned on the heat.

-10 minutes later-

TING!

"Hm...That was amazingly fast..." Gin woke up from scent and the annoying TING! sound.

"Heehee..Wait till Izuru sees this..." Gin placed a tray of some common, regular, muffins (wtf?) on the counter everyone loves to notice.

As Gin left to call Kira, Ukitake, with great timing, passed by and saw the muffins on the counter.

"Ooh! Dont mind if I do..."

--

"UKITAKE-TAICHO! SOMEONE CALL 4TH DIVISION!"

END

**I'd love to hear from you again, thanks for reading! I'm suddenly craving for review-flavored cookies. Sorry if there's any grammar/spelling errors. It's the keyboard not me.  
**


	26. Feeding a Bush

**Oh dear, sorry if I'm a bit late, I had homework to do. -beep- chinese. But it's all done now and I can peacefully let you read this chapter. Enjoy! **

That night, while Kira was busy taking Ukitake-taicho to the 4th division, Gin was up to something else in the 3rd division's courtyard...

"Now, stay here and dont move a muscle." Gin sternly talked to a bush.

"Oh dont gimme that look." Gin crossed his arms as if he's upset with the bush.

"Well..." Gin rubbed his chin.

"I guess ya can also have some!" Gin shrugged and smiled at the bush.

"Heey, that tickles!" Gin said as his hand was in the bush.

"Okay okay, just stay here and I'll be back really soon." Gin waved to the bush and shunpoed away.

--

Kira was very tired and as he was on his way to his room for some sleep, he saw his taicho feeding a bush.

"..." Kira 's eyes widened as he briskly walked away. ("Yeah...Just walk away...") Kira thought and ran into a door.

"Huh?" Gin turned around and saw Kira unconscious on the floor.

Gin sighed. "What are lieutenants doing nowadays." Gin reached both hands into the bush and took out a small, cute fox.

END

**Soo...Kinda short but I'll update again later, or tonight, or tomorrow. Thanks for reading and if by any chance I reach 100 reviews... (If is good) P.S. I aced my first science quiz. Oh joy.**


	27. I Dont Get It

**:D Missed me? -Gets run over by a bus- My email account wont show the damn review alerts I got!**

Orihime was munching on a peanut butter/mustard sandwich as she walked around Seireitei. **(a/n: please dont ask why she's there)**

"Hmm... Wonder if there's anything interesting to do here..." Orihime finished her snack and turned a corner.

"Ouch!" Apparently, Orihime bumped into someone.

"Oh my, are ya alright there lil miss?" Gin asked, without offering some help. **(a/n: please dont ask why they talk too, I know in the anime they shouldnt and this chapter's a little messed up but that's why it's called fanfiction right?)**

"Ow..I'm fine thank you.." Orihime stood up and rubbed her butt cheeks.

"I see." Gin was about to turn around but suddenly a thought struck him.

"Hey wait a second..." Gin dragged Orihime to a nearby bench and let her sit.

"Eh? What's wrong?" Orihime asked. She was still a bit hungry.

("Now's da perfect chance to try this out..") Gin thought darkly.

"Just listen, a man was walking down this road where a homeless guy saw him, The man walking down the road was wearing a hat made out of fox fur. The homeless dude asked him why he was wearing that weird hat, and the guy answered, "I told my friends I was going to Zimbabwe. They said, 'Wear the fox hat!'" And the homeless guy broke out laughing on the road."

Gin grinned expectantly to Orihime for her reaction to his ingenious joke.

"Uhh... Hahaha...Or something like that, it's getting late so I'll just leave." Orihime stuttered while rubbing the back of her head and walked away.

"Hm. Didnt quite get it eh?" Gin slightly frowned and shunpoed away.

END

**Yup that's it for now. Sorry I had to help my mom dye her hair. Oh and thanks for reading. If you understood the joke up there then that's good. In the case that you didnt, well, try saying it out loud. If all else fails... -.-; So sue me.**


	28. Spiking Some Drinks

**Hi! -looks around-Okay... I think I lost the angry mob...Now, I do hope you tolerate my lateness and suckiness of/for this chapter. Honestly, I didnt plan on this very much. :D  
**

1st division headquarters...

"AGH!! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!" A random shout said.

3rd division headquarters...

Gin was whistling a tune down the hallway when he noticed 4th division and some other people rushing over to the direction of 1st division.

"Huh. Wonder what they're up to..." Then Gin grinned a bit before walking away mysteriously.

--

Kira heard something about the soutaicho going crazy and was ordered to report immediately together with some other members to the scene.

"Everyone! Hurry!" Kira lead the group towards the 1st division's lobby...then to the living quarters... and finally reaching Yamamoto-soutaicho's room.

"Spread around!" Kira motioned as they neared the area. Anywhere from a 10 meter radius looked toasted.

Kira kicked open the door and they saw what seemed to be, probably a dozen shinigami lying around unconscious and a certain muscular old man swinging a stick around.

"Yamamoto-soutaicho!" Kira got near (wrong move) and got smacked in the face.

Said old man just kept muttering random words accompanied with weird gestures.

It took quite a while to knock him unconscious.

Gin lay on the roof complimenting himself what a great job he did spiking the soutaicho's tea with sake earlier that morning.

END

**Yay! You read this chapter till the end! (Or did you...) Thanks :)**


	29. Wrong AND Lame

**Whee, another chapter! Read away!**

Gin. The one captain bored enough to travel all the way to Karakura High.

--

"Yo Ishida, you sure you dont want to eat with us?" Ichigo said to Ishida in their class.

"I'm afraid not. I have to leave now." Ishida left the classroom.

"What's wrong with _him_?"

--

Ishida was alone on the roof eating all by himself . :(

"Hey there!" Gin suddenly popped up behind Ishida and waved to him.

"?" Ishida gave a confused look but ignored him 2 seconds later.

"Hm, seems to me you're depressed!" Gin grinned and messed up Ishida's hair.

"..."

Gin frowned and proceeded to do what he did best.

"What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!"

Gin frowed again.

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh."

Gin crossed his arms and decided if he was ignored any further, he would leave the emo freak alone...for now...

"Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny."

"...Lame..."

Gin scowled and shunpoed away.

"And you're doing it wrong..." Ishida pushed his glasses up.

END

**Hehehe, Gin you're really doing it wrong... Thanks for reading. Now, I have to go eat.**


	30. Cold Weather Today isnt it?

**Sorry for the little delay, I was making dumplings. I'll be sure that this is the last chapter with soul society before I'll go on with the Espada. I always seem to forget -.-; **

Gin was idly relaxing on a couch with a wool blanket draped over him until a hell butterfly fluttered to him and almost died at the smell of his fart.

"Captains' meeting? In this cold weather?" Gin supported the dying butterfly.

"Huh, da nerve of some people..." Gin set out to 1st division.

--

As usual, Gin arrived the latest and went to his place, leaving snowy footprints behind.

"We shall now begin the captains' meeting!" Boomed the soutaicho. Everyone cursed their luck when the heater broke down and the cold wind seemed to be passing through the walls.

Everyone was freezing cold.

After everyone grudgingly gave their reports, Gin was up next.

"Ichimaru-taicho, please get on with your report so we can all go home." Yamamoto soutaicho was getting impatient.

"Settle down..." Gin went up front.

"I'll start wi-" Gin was suddenly cut off when he heard Hitsugaya silently sneeze in his cute way.

"Aw...Lil' Shiro caught a cold?" Gin made a puppy look.

"Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in soul society already without your working so hard to give us another?" Hitsugaya calmly stated.

"I'm just saying..."

"Just get on with it retard." Kenpachi bellowed.

"Ok ok..."

Yama-jii tapped on his stick impatiently.

"Hey dont ya'll want to.." Gin was yet again cut off. He wanted to give his report already and get back to his wool blanket.

Suddenly, Kenpachi grew bored and randomely tackled Gin to the cold, hard floor.

-30 minutes later-

The whole room was in utter chaos, again.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF YORUICHI-SAMA LIKE THAT!"

Soifon hit Ukitake in the face with Suzumebachi once. He had just said he didnt like cats!

"DO NOT LOWER ME TO THE LIKES OF YOU!"

Byakuya aimed Senbonzakura at Gin after he had remarked on how they're both so similar.

"I AM NOT SHORT!"

Kenpachi called Hitsugaya punier than a grain of rice.

"YOU'RE ALL SISSIES!"

Kenpachi managed to block Hitsugaya's attack.

"SHUNSUI! DO SOMETHING!"

Ukitake was growing tired. And hungry.

"I'M TOO BUSY NOT GETTING CUT IN HALF!"

Shunsui was busy dodging Komamura's bankai.

"EVERYONE STOP IT!"

Unohana was tending to a few random passerbys that got involved in the quarrel.

"YORUICHI-SAMA IS NOT A LESBIAN!!"

_SLICE!_

"MY KIDNEY!"

_CLING!_

"WHAT ARE YOU, A CROSS FROM A MIME AND A CLOWN?!"

_WHAM!_

"YOU SHALL REGRET THAT!"

_KABOOM!_

Gin sighed. "Of all the days...It just had to be snowing today..."

Gin dodged Senbonzakura and shunpoed out of the room, or what's left of it.

END

**XP I know...the other one was better. BYE THEN! I have to go update my other story in fictionpress! Thanks for reading all the way here, and I really appreciate it, really. Please review me your thoughts about this! (P.S. I'll give you dumplings!)**


	31. THE INSANE ASYLUM

**Here's an update, hope you like it yadda yadda yadda... Tori the Twilight Keeper, here's something with Yoruichi in. :)  
**

At the Urahara shoten...

Yoruichi (in cat form) stretched and yawned on the roof, fresh from a nice afternoon nap.

"?" She looked to her left only to see Gin sitting crossed legged beside her.

"Nice weather huh?" Gin asked.

"..." Yoruichi just stared.

"I'm bored..."

Just as Yoruichi decided to turn around she stuck to her place, eyes wide open when she heard Gin say he wants to try being normal for once.

**-(short? I know)-**

"AAAGHHH!!" Gin was falling down a huge pit.

"OOOF!" And landed on the floor (or pillow) with a _SWISHING_ sound.

"Ugh...Where am I..." Gin looked around only to be horrified to see pink all around him. That includes the ceiling, walls, and floor.

Gin was too busy looking around to notice someone coming in from a door he didnt know was there.

"Hello there, are you ready for therapy?"

"Who's there?" Gin turned around and saw Mayuri cross-dressing and acting all lady-like. Complete with lipstick and all. Then he noticed himself wearing a stray jacket, **(or whatever you call em).**

"What da?!" Gin fell behind and stared **(can he do that?) **at Mayuri.

"Oh dont be shy! Come to mommy!" Mayuri stretched her, I mean, his arms.

"NOOO!!"

--

"No...No...No..." Gin tossed around on a very hard and uncomfortable bed.

"What are you doing here?!"

"Huh?!" Gin finally sat up... And almost screamed out loud when he saw Mayuri's face in front of him.

"Why are you here?! Out with you I dont have time for the likes of you. Get out!" Mayuri demanded.

Apparently, Gin was _supposed _to make another explosion in the newly built 12th division but then he fell asleep on Mayuri's desk.

"OMG I'm so glad you're not gay!" Gin screeched making a few stray bottles crack or break and shunopoed away.

"What's his problem?"

**Well then...**


	32. Author's Note

**OMG I have time to upload this useless author's note but no time to update?! It's a conspiracy! x.x **

**OK, how many days has it been since I last updated? 9. **

**-sigh-, I know, this is so lame...**

**Well since I dont want to be rude, or let you think I'm possibly dead, I'm taking a little vacation from fanficing. (yes I'm aware it's most-likely not a word) and if I'm lucky, I'll update my story in fictionpress earlier. (but really, you dont need to know that, do you?)**

**Anyways, I hope I can get motivated soon enough (if you're thinking I just got sick of writing then you're wrong) and hope you'll be understanding... I hope... (are you still reading this?) For those of you who still want to read my excuse, then here it is: **

**School is getting to me and it's exhausting me. And our social studies project STILL isnt finished, But at least our teacher said it's gonna be displayed in the exhibit! Well, bye! (for now... I honestly dont think you want to know anything else)**

**P.S. I do hope you're not too cross-eyed from reading my useless author's note in bold... with tons of parenthesis. If you are, sorry. Here's a cookie... No wait I forgot this is the internet damn it.  
**


End file.
